How To Write Stories That Change YOUR Life

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When writing, we reveal parts of ourselves we never even knew existed.

- Alexandra Lee

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I'm sure you've heard the line "write for yourself." Well this post takes that line, adds to it, dissects it, and basically turns it on its head. I know that sounds very confusing, but it is, in essence, exactly what I meant to say.

When I hear this piece of advice, I interpreted it as, "you should write what you want to write about. Don't let the market or what's on trend stop you from writing what you're passionate about."

That's a very nice piece of advice, and I agree with it, but I don't think that's all this line is saying.

As writers, we want people to connect with and love our writing. We want our work to inspire others. But I think what a lot of people don't realize is how much their own writing can and will affect them if they dissect it.

I'm guilty of this. I often find myself thinking, "Wow this writing piece is turning out great. People are going to love it. It's going to resonate with others."

When I feel I'm writing a really solid piece, these thoughts come to mind almost subconsciously, and in order for me to bring myself back, I have to truly look at myself and my writing with as much humility I can muster.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud of your work. You should be very proud. But there is a thin line between being proud and being arrogant. It's okay to think, "I feel really good about this piece. I think it will resonate with people," but you need to ask yourself “how do I feel about the piece?Does it resonate with me? Does it reflect what I want it to reflect?” If you read through it, would you be able to read between the lines and find out what the story is really trying to say? Would you be happy with what you found?

We can easily become overly focused on whether our writing will "inspire and resonant with people," when instead we should be asking "how has my writing changed me? How has my new-found knowledge of a certain culture or the research I had to do on a certain subject changed me? How has the main character's motivation made me question my motivations for the things I've done in my life? If I was in her situation, would I have the same motivation she has?” The answer does not have to be yes, but it is something that‘s very interesting to think about.

Let's not focus on, "what are my characters going to teach my audience?" and ”How is my story going to change their lives?" and instead focus on, "what are my characters teaching me? What is my writing teaching me about this fictional world I've brought to life? How does my made-up world reflect the real world? Do the relationships between my characters mirror my relationships? What parts of myself are on this page that I didn't even intend to put on it? What subconscious thoughts and feelings and opinions are right in front of me?"

You may see a lot of yourself on the page, or you may see very little. After you look for yourself on the page, ask a close friend or family member to read though it. Ask them if they see you on the page. They'll probably point out a lot of the same similarities that you did, but I bet they'll point out a lot of other things you missed. I’m sure they‘ve seen sides of you that you don’t think about.

It doesn't really matter how much of yourself there is on the page. The point I'm really trying to focus on here is this: your story should have just as big an impact on you as it does on the people who read it. There shouldn't be any "this story is going to change peoples' lives. It will be a New York Times bestseller." There should be, "this story has changed me. This story has opened my eyes to things I didn't know about myself or the world." That's the point entire point of "write for yourself." Not only do you get to write the stories you want to write, but you get to do it in a way the every word you type further enlightens you.

The first step in being able to deeply dissect your work is to develop a profound sense of humility. This is really hard for a lot of people and it's something I have struggled with in my writing and my life in general.

It takes a lot of work and prayer. It takes wisdom, and there will be times where you find arrogant thoughts filling your head. But you have to crush them and keep going. You have to keep writing and even when you think you’ve made it, remind yourself that you always have more to learn.

Thank you for reading this post! This subject is one I felt needed a light shined on, and it’s definitely a battle that everyone faces. Please leave your thoughts on this topic in the comments! I would love to hear what you think.

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It’s been a pleasure writing for you and until next time—stay weird and stay writing. - Lexi