The Definition of a Dreamer

A lot of people refer to themselves as "dreamers," but what exactly does that mean? "Well they have a calling, an untamed urge to make the fantasy in their head their future reality," you may say. But then again, what does that mean?

If anyone can dream, aren't we all dreamers? The answer is yes...and no. We may all be able to label ourselves as dreamers, but how many of us actually live the life we dream of?

If you want to be one of those, who doesn't only dream, but makes their dreams a reality. Then here are some things that I think all dreamers must do.

1. Work Hard

You know that annoying neighbor or girl at school who always seems to get things handed to them without having to lift a finger... so do I. While luck may work sometimes, that luck doesn't work in the real world. Nope, out there, the terrain is brutal and it's everyone for themselves. Luck favors no one. Argue all you want, but the truth is a hard one, and hard work is how you, not your neighbor, friends, mom, or dog, but YOU are going to reach your dream.

With social media and modern technology, everyone has access to a beautiful thing called the internet, which holds millions of opportunities and millions more eyes that could possibly stumble across you as a writer. With all of this so easily accessible, it also brings along a lot of competition, which leads me to my next tip...

2. Be Different by Being Unique

No one wants to see another boring account of a writer who never writes. Yes, I'm talking to you, Sharon. If you want to stand out on Instagram or Twitter or on your blog then you need to understand what makes you unique, and more importantly, what your unique traits and style can offer your audience. Why should they care about you? Why should they care about you success, growth, and why should they invest their time, money, and support into you? People rarely do things for free, so what can you offer them in return? And I'm not talking about money or free stuff. How can you make their day better? How can you make them feel important and earn their trust?

3. Make a Plan

Now we all know long-term plans never go exactly the way we want them, and who'd want them to, that'd be boring. Still, just like you, hopefully, outline your book, you should also outline your dream. Start big, and work small when outlining, and start small and work your way up as you work towards your dream. When you plan, think of one big, overarching goal. Something that you really, really want, and that all of that hard work and smaller goals are going into to make the goal happen. Maybe you want to publish your book? Or hit a best-seller list? Whatever it is, know that this goal is going to take years and years of work, countless hours, and a lot of pain, sweat, and tears, so make it count.

4. Baby Steps

Make itty-bitty goals that lead into small goals that lead to medium goals that lead to large, huge, ginormous, extravagantly ginormous, and so on. Start small.

Maybe you haven't even started outlining your book yet. Maybe you have a pretty good outline, but you're scared that the keyboard is going to eat your fingers the minute you sit down to write the first page. Maybe you finished your whole novel and then someone told you it wasn't good enough, or you just didn't know what to do next, so you buried it in the back of you closet.

As I wrote this part of the blog, I realized, and this was unintentional, but I did those very same things when writing my first book. A book that, I may say, isn't publish and is indeed sitting in the back of my closet.

Sometimes I think we scare ourselves more than other people do. We beat ourselves down over books that we once started writing as an escape from all of the drama and opinions tearing us down. But now, without realizing it, we are doing the very same thing to ourselves. By beating ourselves down, we are only adding to that negative opinion, that negative thought that was told to us and that we are constantly repeating to ourselves on a daily basis. The very same thing that gave us that rush and adrenaline to start writing is now crushing our passion. It's crazy. isn't it? It's crazy because it's a continuous cycle of, "Is my writing good enough?"

Now that we know what the cycle is, we know how to break it.

5. Confidence---Our Biggest Enemy

You know when you're building character arcs and trying to figure out who the bad guy's going to be? In fantasy or sci-fi you probably have an actual person or creature as the villain, but in a romance or contemporary, the villain might be a feeling or a fear or circumstance that's keeping the protagonist from achieving their goal. We are the protagonists in our own stories. Our main goal is to share our words with others, but there is no creature or villain holding us back when it comes to writing. The only thing holding us back is ourselves. Stop telling yourself you're not good enough, especially if you haven't even tried! Every writer sucks at first and you might suck for years, but with time you will grow and evolve and get better.

As writers, we're contently told that we need to develop a thick skin, but as people sharing their deepest, darkest, most personal words of our hearts, don't we deserve the ability to be upset when someone doesn't like them? No one's perfect, no book is perfect. I know Harry Potter comes pretty close, but even J.K. Rowling, one of the most famous and successful writers in the world, started out just like you. Because she's human, and as long as there is a small part of you that's proud of your work, it's going to hurt when someone is critical of it, or plain out doesn't like it. And that's okay, because that's normal. But...and this is the most important part of this entire blog post. When someone doesn't like your work, let that criticism transform into motivation to make you a better writer. At first it's going to sting. It's going to hurt, and you might feel like someone just stabbed you in the back with a knife, but ten years from now when you just landed a six-figure publishing contract with your dream publisher for that very same book, then you'll thank them, and you'll thank yourself for not giving up on your dream.

A Final Message, and Farewell, as You go Off to Live Your Dream

(sigh)...Sadly we have reached the end of this post, but let me leave you with some sweet and simple encouraging words--As a writer, we will always be misunderstood. We are contently living in our heads and in the worlds we've created, and some people are never going to understand us. No one is ever going to be as passionate about your dream as you, and no one should, or else it wouldn't be yours. No one is ever going to write your book for you, and no one could even if they tried. Which means you're pretty much the ring leader of your own crazy story as you travel though the many rewrites and hours of editing on the long journey to achieve your dream. You're your own cheerleader and pep-talker, so stop smashing yourself, and your book, into the ground. Stop comparing yourself to authors and writers who are "so-called" better, because at one time or another they sucked, and had doubts about their work. You can't control anyone, but you can control your mind and how you approach your writing. Be happy when you finish that chapter and eat some ice cream. Be sad when you spill milk on your notebook while outlining. Give yourself a pat on the back for that killer sentence, and push yourself to make time to write when you're slacking. If it's important to you, make it a priority.

In the words of the queen herself--"I just write what I wanted to write. I write what amuses me. It’s totally for myself..." - J.K. Rowling

Write for yourself, and write what makes you happy because there's one thing that you cannot fake in this world and that's passion. If you love what you write, others will see that and they will love it too. Don't write for anyone else because if you ever get the chance to share that writing and you're not happy with it, then what's the point? Writing is supposed to bring you joy, so remember that. Write it on your wall or on the cover of your notebook. Tattoo it on your forehead for goodness sake! (Please don't do that, I don't want to get sued by your mom.)

There's just one last thing before we say our goodbye, and that's the answer to the question we asked at the beginning, "What's a dreamer?" Well, it's anyone who has a goal and chases it, and, if you survive the harsh conditions and make it to the end, one day you'll wake up and find that you weren't dreaming at all, and everything you ever wanted, everything you worked for, and were created for is real. I hope then you give yourself a break, and I hope you're happy.

Thank you so much for reading my first ever blog post! Leave a comment and let me know what kind of posts you'd like to see next!

It's been a pleasure writing for you, and until next time--stay weird and stay writing. - Lexi.

#dreamer #steps #writer #dreaming